Alcoholic
by Mlnn
Summary: 'Why can't you what, Britt? I don't understand as long as you don't freaking tell me' 'I can't.. I can't be.. I can't be n-near you..' she whispered. Brittana fic, one-shot.


**This is actually the first one I'm publishing, haha. Anyway, I came up with this last night when I couldn't sleep and I started writing it on my phone. Horrible to write on, let me tell you. English isn't my first language, so go easy with me ;) Enjoy.**

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'I can't, Santana! Jeez, why don't you understand?'

'Why can't you what, Britt? I don't understand as long as you don't freaking tell me!'

'I can't.. I can't be.. I can't be n-near you..' she whispered.

'What?... W-why, how? Did I do something?' The Latina's voice sounded hurt.

'No, San.. I can't be near you, because otherwise _I_ might do something stupid.'

'Stupid? What the fuck are you talking about? Stupid like what, Britt?'

Brittany bit on the inside of her lip, desperately trying to _not_ do what her whole body told her to do. She clenched her hands as fists, digging her nails in her own skin.

'Britt, for God's sake, please tell me already. I'm fucking going crazy here, because I don't know what to do about this! You know I don't like it when you're sad. Please tell me what to do.' Santana moved closer, but Brittany just backed off, stumbling over her own feet and her head shaking a bit.

'Britt.. Please..'

'I can't..'

'You can't what, Brittany? You know what? Just fucking do it! What are you going to do, huh? Hit me? Run away? Laugh at me? Just do it already, so I know why the fuck you can't be near me.'

After a couple seconds, Brittany looked up and their eyes locked. Santana saw that the blondes eyes were watery and hazy. She had an mix of pain and.. hunger on her face. After a minute just staring at each other, she suddenly rushed to Santana and stopped right in front of her, taking her a little bit of her feet. Her lips were just inches away from Santana's.

Santana's eyes grew wide and her mouth fell open a little, because of surprise. Was she really going to hit her? Santana could almost taste the other girl, who's breath she felt on her lips and tongue. It was kind of intoxicating. Brittany swallowed and took a deep breath.

'Kiss you, Santana,' she breathed. 'I can't be near you, because all I think about is how your lips would be like kissing. How you taste, I think about the way your lips move when you're talking or singing, how I want to stop you when you bite your lower lip when you're irritated, angry or nervous, because they're too beautiful to be damaged. I think about how the way you pout your lips when you're thinking or when you're trying to get me to watch a movie you want to see, how they're twisted when you're confused or when you're making your homework, how you lick your lips when you just ate chocolate ice cream or when a guy is hitting on you and I have to force myself from not beating him up. How the corners of your mouth go up a little when we talk about Glee club, though you're desperately trying to hide the fact you actually like it there. How you smile at me when I say something stupid again. How you have that one smile you only smile at me. How you raise your eyebrows in class. How you are always so patient with me if I don't understand a thing what is going on and you try to explain me, even though if it takes an hour of your time. How you're filing your nails when you're bored. How your hips sway when you're dancing or how your skirt twists when you turn. How you're eyes turn dark when Rachel's speaking and how they turn soft when I'm speaking. How you roll your eyes when something happens you think is stupid. How I can't catch my breath when you look at me. How my throat closes up when I look at you. How my skin burns when you touch me. How my head's all cloudy when you're sleeping next to me, cuddling me, holding me. How my heart aches every day, because I wake up every day to the fact you're not _mine_. How I have to stop myself with all I have _to not-kiss-you_. I can't be-'

'Then don't.'

'W-what? ... Don't what?'

Santana swallowed, she felt a little dizzy because of all the breaths of Brittany just breathed right on her lips. Her body was shaking, because of all the things the other just said. She never really realised how Brittany felt. Now that she was thinking about it, she had seen the signs, but she hadn't done anything with them. She felt a little bit taken back by how good Brittany actually knew her.

'Don't.. don't stop then..'

The blonde's blue eyes turned confused, surprised. Did she just dreamed that Santana said that? Santana's eyes travelled down and lingered on Brittany's lips, she only just realised how badly she actually wanted to kiss them.

'Santana, you don't underst-' Her words were cut off when Santana hushed her silent. Brittany saw the way Santana looked at her lips and it made her feel uneasy. Had she said too much?

'San..' Once again Santana cut her off. Santana's lips crashed onto hers. All what Brittany had said and wanted to say was forgotten and she threw her arms around the Latina's waist, taking in every second of the kiss before it was over and it was never going to happen again. Santana pushed her body into Brittany's and pressed her lips even harder on the blonde ones. The feeling in her stomach made her knees go week; luckily she had her arms wrapped around her. Brittany couldn't think anymore, she only wanted more of Santana and this to never stop. She even dismissed the thought of Santana not feeling the same way, of being rejected and having to live further without her best friend by her side, telling her where to go when she had a class without Santana and patiently waiting on her when class was over.

She felt Santana's mouth opening and her tongue sliding down her own bottom lip, as if asking for permission. Brittany gladly gave it to her and when their tongues touched she gasped into Santana's mouth. Her whole body was on fire and she even hold onto the other one harder, if that was even possible.

And the moment she tasted the sweet, wine-like addicting flavour of the Latina, she knew she was an alcoholic.


End file.
